November 2003

Dear Cap'n Drew: I just purchased a new 24-foot fishing boat and the manufacturer had to place 190 lbs. of ballast (lead) in the hull, in order to level the boat. Is this an acceptable method to correct a listing problem?
- Jim in Cliffwood Beach, NJ

Dear Jim: It’s better than 190 lbs. of salami. This reminds me of when I purchased one of my first boats many years ago. Because of several upgrades that I had purchased with it (many of which HAD to be added to one side) the boat began to list. When I complained about this, the manufacturer’s solution to the problem was giving me “Ballast Bill.” This was a 172 lb. man who sat on my portside sofa for the five years that I owned the boat. Although he was very polite and discreet, I really had quite a time explaining him to my guests. To answer your question, I think that we should all be very grateful for the modern technology of lead ballast.

Dear Cap'n Drew: This has been my first full season with my boat. Several friends have recommended that I take the U.S. Power Squadron course. Do you think that the program is worth it, or will I eventually just “learn by doing?”
- Tate in Crawfordville, FL

Dear Tate: Considering the fact that drowning is also something that you ”learn by doing,” you should take the course. The Power Squadron and the U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary are truly the “Knights of the Water.” The first boating course that I ever took was conducted by the Power Squadron. I was, at the time, their toughest student to educate. I simply couldn’t get the whole “starboard versus port” thing down. It took weeks of my getting it wrong before they finally hooked my big toes up to a car battery and zapped me for using incorrect terminology. It may seem a bit extreme, but it is because of this “tough love” that I never make those kinds of mistakes anymore.

Dear Cap'n Drew: Do boats always need a title?
- Andy in Lake George, NY

Dear Andy: No. Ordinarily “Mister” or “Ms.” will do just fine. However, some stuffy boats with PhD’s or medical degrees like to remind the world of it on an hourly basis.

Dear Cap'n Drew: My husband and I both love boating and fishing. We have been boating the Delta and San Francisco Bay for the last 12 years. The time has come for us to make some serious retirement choices. Unfortunately, if we are to pursue our dream of moving North and traveling the country, we need to sell our boat. My husband has compared selling our boat to the loss of a child. How do I comfort a sailor who is about to be high and dry?
- Desperate in Truckee, CA

Dear Desperate: Why don’t you just take your boat with you? After all, that method worked for Lewis & Clark. When those guys came to a waterfall, they just picked up their boats and dragged them right up the side. Now THOSE guys were real boaters.

Besides, aren’t you guys doing things backwards? I mean, who waits until retirement to GET RID of a boat? Are you also going to stop eating Jell-O, watching your cholesterol, and wearing black socks with short pants? Of course not! Don’t get rid of the boat! If you’re going to BE retired, get out there and ACT retired!

Cap’n Drew Brown is the author of the boating humor book, “What’s A Hoy? A Guide to Modern Boating.” Send questions via e-mail at www.capndrew.com.



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