Toms Tips About Putting Mout’ On It

By Tom Neale, 8/20/2009

  1. When some bureaucrat asks you to put Mout’ on something, pretend you can’t hear. It’s much better for them to think you’re deaf than for you to put Mout’ on it.
  2. When you’re feeling so good about things that you slip up and put Mout’ on something, pour some salt in your right hand and throw it over your left shoulder and then spit upwind over your right shoulder. I’ve heard this works for black cats, so maybe it’ll work for this.
  3. When you’re feeling depressed because everything’s going great and you’re afraid to say, “Wow! What a perfect day,” say it anyway.  There’s another very potent island saying: “Don’t worry, be happy.” It’s pronounced “Don’ worry, be hoppy.”

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