with Tommy Sanders
Q: The quick success of the Alabama Rig has caught my attention. Do you know any other newfangled gadgets like it?- Douglas Konkle, Indiana, Ohio
A. When I see all the press that the Alabama Rig has been getting, I can’t help but feel bad for the other 49 States. After all, what is an Alabama Rig but a shining example of American ingenuity -- a classic multitasking, labor saving tool?
Surely we can find similar examples outside the Heart of Dixie state.
New York Rig: One butter knife handle with five blades for spreading cream cheese on multiple bagels.
Vermont rig: One tap with five spigots for draining the sap from maple trees at lightning speeds.
Alaska rig: A flyswatter with one handle and five slappers to keep the world’s most bountiful mosquitos at bay.
The South Dakota Rig: One mountainside that holds four ginormous presidential portraits.
Minnesota Rig: One gasoline engine hooked to five different drill shafts for ice fishing.
Florida Rig: A single keychain that holds house key, key to Cadillac DeVille, seven-day pill organizer, Life Alert fob, and key to neighbor lady’s house.
Washington D.C. Rig: A well-tailored suit coat with five sleeves, each containing an outstretched hand for collecting campaign contributions from lobbyists.
Utah Rig (Opposite of D.C. rig): Cheap suit coat with five sleeves, each containing an outstretched hand for dispensing paycheck amongst multiple spouses.
Arkansas Rig: One pipestem that splits off to five corncob bowls.
No doubt the Alabama rig will continue to inspire more ingenious creations. I’ll spend some quiet time with my Arkansas Rig and try to come up with the next round.
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